The mathematics of self-confidence

For someone who has consistently skirted on the edges of any form of mathematics without even dipping a toe in the pool it’s strange that I should propose a mathematical formula to an abstract concept. Some people would even refer to this as ironical. I, however, bravely plough on, so hear me out.

I’ve often referred to my abysmal levels of self-confidence as a muscular/organ dysfunction. No disrespect whatsoever to many people out there who suffer from such disorders. But that’s the way I see it. How else can one explain how some people have no difficulty in staring down a scary situation they have never dealt with before. I, on the other hand, find that I become a wobbly mess with very little to say.

So where’s the math you say?

It is this, take the full measure of your childhood experiences and add them to how you perceive the world. For instance, some people perceive the world through a smog of gray and darkness, while others see it as their own private playground. If you belong to the former category then the math will be something like 2+2 = -22, since the childhood experiences could not have been outstanding. For the others the math is 2+2 = 222.

So which math would you choose? A no-brainer, right?

So why self-confidence? Why not beauty? Or talent? Or intelligence?

Because self-confidence trumps all. It’s like the Kohinoor in the crown. There may be rubies and emeralds around it, but the eye is drawn to the Kohinoor winking insolently at you while you gape slack-jawed. It is like a prime number, not capable of being divided into smaller numbers.  It is that sharp edged sword that can cut through any situation/problem, clean. No blood. No wounds. Just a clean cut!

There is an advantage however for the -22ers. Self-confidence can be studied, practiced and imbibed, almost like that swaying walk that they teach at those disgustingly expensive finishing schools.

“Put that stack of books on your head.

Now walk forward. Slowly. Gently. Leave your body loose and feel the flow of energy coursing down to your fingers and toes”.

I tried that walk many times. In my locked bedroom, hidden from prying eyes. The pile of books always topped over, till one day… My self-confidence,  came to life that day. The needle had swung to approximately +22.

Simply put, this translated to speaking up and staying my ground during unpleasant discussions. Developing the capacity to laugh at myself. Accepting a gift without feeling sucked into a maelstrom of obligation. Not being taken for granted, and plenty more.

Does it make me like myself? Absolutely!

Do I laugh more and feel comfortable in my own skin? Most certainly.

Can I handle unflattering, personal comments? Not yet. Working on it. Hey, I’m still at +22. Have ways to go.

Do I prefer my own company? A 100%. You nailed it, baby!

And that was when I realized that there is another element to the self-confidence equation. It is called, fearlessness. And the mathematics for it? Let’s keep that aside for a separate discussion.

QED